What happens in Vegas...

... stays in Vegas, obviously.

But some of it I can put on this blog.

I left for Vegas the day after Mother's Day. It was my gift, along with an adorable card "From the two of us" with the sweetest little hands and "signatures" inside. We had a lovely day with my lovely mom and the rest of my family, then we had swimming lessons, then dinner, and then my lovely mother-in-law came to stay. It was an awesome Mother's Day. You would think that this would make me so sad to leave them the next day.

You would think.

Look, I wasn't happy to be leaving them. But I was insanely excited to spend time with my besties from the Internet, and I was also pathetically excited to spend some time with myself (well, surrounded by hundreds of people, but with no one else to worry about). Three hours on an airplane? With an hour and a half wait at the airport? Where do I sign???

I'm not by myself very much.

Somehow, between the airport, the plane, the pool, and the trip home, I got very little reading done. I did not one crossword. I'm not sure what I did, actually, but I came back home very relaxed, so I guess it worked.

Is there any happier place in the sky than a plane headed for Vegas? No, there is not! Even on my plane, where there was a "Is there a doctor on board?" situation that seemed to get resolved, although I have no idea what happened.

I called the girls when I was headed to baggage claim, and when they spotted me, I recognized them right away! I had seen pictures of them so much that I felt like I was meeting my favorite. I guess I was, in my own little world.

We immediately hit it off. There was one girl who, for some reason, I just loved right away and wanted to meet ever since we were newly pregnant with twinsies. And the other girl looked a lot like my friend Kate, from college, and that made me love her straightaway because Kate is awesome! I miss you Kate, if you read this!

It was just the three of us the first day, and we met a very sweet mom who lives in Sin City that night for dinner. The four of us hung out on Tuesday before picking up our last lovely from the airport, and then we had crazy fun times. We went to the pool, gambled, explored the strip, ate the most amazing breakfast, and visited the Pawn Stars shop (no celebrity sightings - I was told that they were filming somewhere else that day. Probably to see a man about a boat, or something like that). And at night, we hit the town.

Details to stay in Vegas.

Fifty Shades of This and That

Some award-winning blogger I am! I have neglected poor bloggy. What the hell is my problem?

Sometimes I don't blog because I'm a tad busy, what with my two babies, crazy dog, grump/soulmate, and job. Sometimes I don't blog because what fun is it to blog without pictures as my computer hates my pictures all of a sudden? (Clearly it's jealous because the computer is not that cute.) And sometimes I blog because I don't have anything to blog about. But that hasn't stopped me before, so why should it now?

I have been busy recently (like, this week) planning my Vegas Vacation! I am terribly excited most of the time and terrified sometimes. I am going to miss the boys like crazy and I'm scared that they'll miss me too, although I know that they will be having too much fun to feel abandoned. Daddy will be here and so will Grandma H. I know that I deserve a break and probably really need it, but it's really hard. Even though I haven't technically met the other mamas, I know that we're going to have SO MUCH FUN. I still have prepping to do though - I'm not packed, I don't know how many hundreds of dollars I have to pay in baggage fees (Booo Spirit Airlines and your allegedly low fares!), and I need to buy some sunscreen! I have purchased the most flattering swimsuits in my price range and I have been trying to walk around in my new heels so I won't be whining about blisters when we try to act fancy.

I have also been trying to get ready for book club, which has been resurrected with a bang. Well, several bangs. We read Fifty Shades of Grey - you know... the book with the sex and the more sex and the kinky sex and so on. I swear I didn't mean to choose the most awkward book to ask a group of women who know me more than they know each other to read and discuss. I just like to choose a book that is popular and that people seem to want to read.. you know, so that people read it and come to book club. So I looked at the bestseller list and I remembered seeing someone online be all, "What's the big deal about this book?" and I suggested it and the book club approved.

So since it's going to be interesting at best and embarrassing at worst to discuss, I am making it my mission to make everyone else less uncomfortable by embarrassing myself most of all. I am going to serve cocktail wieners and licorice whips and embrace the smut. Don't expect a blow-by-blow (OMG, I am hilarious) account of the party on my blog, though.

We've been spending Tuesdays celebrating the opening of the Farmers' Market here in town. Among the many treasures at the market these days is a guy who makes amazing salad dressing and a place that makes homemade peanut butter. I am a huge fan of gritty natural peanut butter, so this is exciting anyway, but I was over-the-moon excited when I saw the variety of flavors available. I had to purchase a container of both chocolate and butterscotch peanut butter. Butterscotch peanut butter has changed my life for the better.

Because I like to eat things like butterscotch peanut butter and because I am yet again on a quest to lose weight and get fit, I have been working out lately and watching what I eat. I don't like to say that I'm on a diet, because that brain triggers something in my brain that causes me to think about food constantly and crave everything that I "shouldn't" eat. So now no feed is outlawed, but I'm trying not to eat what I wouldn't want the boys to eat. This is easy because they want to eat what I eat all the time anyway. I'm not strict about food with them and let them have treats, but only once in a while. For the most part, I want them to eat fruits and veggies, whole grains, lean protein, healthy dairy, you know, all the good stuff that I should be eating, too. Dave is Atkinsing, which I think is weird but seems to work for him, so whatever. I started to eat healthy and he started to diet right after Easter - I have lost 7 pounds and he has lost, I don't know, 10 or 15 or something. I've probably lost that much in man pounds.

It's hard to find time to exercise, and some days I skip it, but I try to do something every day. Today is beautiful, so we're about to go out for a walk. Some days I just try to clean my house like crazy, which is a never-ending task. On days when I am really good, or just don't care if my house is messy, I do Jillian Michaels's 30 Day Shred. Yeah, she's annoying, but I know the routine enough now to watch it while listening to music instead of listening to her talk. I am getting better at it but secretly fear that I will never graduate to Level 2. Still, I think I'll look pretty hot if I stick with Level 1.

On Sundays, I usually don't work out, but I take the boys to swimming lessons. This isn't exercise, but it's totally fun. They have had 2 lessons and they love it! Well, they pretty much love it. We just put them on their backs and then on their bellies, like they're floating except we hold them. We play with pool toys and we put them up on the wall and then have them jump into the water. This is Daredevil Dean's favorite part. Last week I could tell that he thought about running off and jumping into the lap pool instead of jumping to me. This kid terrifies me! Cam alternately laughs and cries. This is typical. Dean is never as happy or as mad as Camden gets - he is extreme!

Now I am watching them on our new used video monitor. It is really entertaining. I put them down for nap in the same crib with some books, cuddly toys, and sippy cups and they play a bit and then go to sleep without crying. It's wonderful. If only it hadn't taken me 13 months to figure out how they like to nap! I hear all kinds of noises up there and I was dying to know what they do, so I found a cheapish video monitor on craigslist. I picked it up on Tuesday, which was an adventure involving two broken ATMs and two babies who were mad to be stuck in the car for 3 hours because traffic was awful. But now I meant to clean my house, but am actually blogging while watching them on the monitor. They are so freaking cute. I knew that they threw everything out of the crib, but they play with the stuff too. They open the books and "read" them aloud, which is THE CUTEST THING EVER! They talk a lot and run from one end of the crib to the other, they squabble a bit, and eventually I believe they will go to sleep.

Later today, I will take them to their new daycare for a couple hours of playtime. I'm going to be working in a new position at my same job, and I have decided to stop working all night four nights a week, because while this schedule lets me be with the boys all day, it doesn't allow me to see my husband much. And believe it or not, I like to see him. I was nervous about daycare, but found a super nice lady who came highly recommended, and I think they're going to have fun playing with kids besides each other.

Ok. I guess that's it - time to vacuum!

Where am I? Easter happened. And then I WON AN AWARD.

Hi lovely readers! Remember me?

My computer still hates to cooperate because I spilled water on it last summer when I was trying to learn how to breastfeed two newborns I don't know why. So here are pictures that I painstakingly (over two weeks) uploaded (downloaded? what the hell is the difference?) to Dave's computer, posted to Facebook, downloaded to my computer, and shared in this post.

We did Easter at Dave's lovely aunt and uncle's home in Wisconsin. I just adore his family! So do the boys. Then on Sunday, instead of church, because we are afraid to take them because they are loud and proud (and loud), we went to a playground at a nearby state park. They had a blast, and it was adorable.

Then we had dinner at my Uncle Virgil's house. My family is more than a'ight too. My dear cousin JoAnn, who loves these boys like crazy, did an Easter egg hunt for them and for my sister's kiddos. A and G sought eggs. D and C each found an egg, and were delighted to find that they made a great noise when shaken. 

And that is ok, because I am learning that I should not try to control them and make them feel my unconditional love. Thanks Alfie Kohn. Thanks this blog.

We got them Easter baskets, but because they just had birthday extravaganza, we kept it simple with baskets, books, and bunnies. We did that at breakfast time. I'm out of order. Whoops.

Since Easter, we have battled a cold and are fighting the good fight against canine teeth, or molars, or demons, if the crying that has taken place in this house over the last few days is any indication. These past few days have been so tough. I'm getting closer to my moms-only vacation and the feelings of guilt about abandoning my babies are definitely starting to disappear.

Oh, and you may have noticed from my blog post title that I have won a major award!

Oh, you're close! I've actually won a Liebster award. How about that! The Liebster award is given by bloggers to bloggers who rock their blog of less than 200 followers. I got this award from Tiffany, who is an amazing woman. She blogs at Their Bun, My Oven about her adventures in surrogacy. She's a beautiful lady with four beautiful ladies of her own and doing the most beautiful thing I can think of for very fortunate expectant parents. Currently she is expecting twins! Be still my heart! TWINS!!!

Liebster is German for "beloved," and part of the award is the honor of awarding other bloggers for their good work. Here are all of the Liebster rules:

• Show your thanks to the blogger who gave you the award by linking back to them
• Reveal your top 5 picks for the award and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog
• Post the award on your blog
• Bask in the love from the most supportive people in the blogosphere – other bloggers
• Hope your recipients pass the award to their 5 favorite blogs to keep the love flowing

Thanks Tiffany! (check!)

basking...

basking...

... and... (drumroll), I declare these five beloved blogs Liebster winners!

Three Little Monsters... and then some - written by my dear friend Julie! She is hilarious and takes beautiful pictures - what more could you ask for in a blogger?

The Great Northern Escape by Jill, who is an amazing young lady living in Alaska for the moment! Again, funny, beautiful pictures, love love love.

Our Dreams Come True by Katie, a friend whom I only know through blogging! Her blog will make you smile and cry.

Thurston Times by Anneliese, a very good friend with two adorable busy boys!

I Blog Because of Peer Pressure - Infertility survivor and twin mama extraordinaire!!!

So there you have it. Fin.

Did you know...

... that baby saliva is actually bad for your cell phone?

I let the babies play with my phone all the time. When I was nursing one to sleep, I would throw my phone to the other one to keep him happy and quiet. When I got them out of their cribs in the morning, we had a routine for coming down the stairs. I'd put my phone, water bottle, and book on the railing by the stairs and then grab a baby in each arm. (They say never to hold both babies at the same time and go down the stairs. You'd think I'd listen as I have fallen on the stairs before, but you've never seen the devastated look of a baby who thinks his mommy is going to pick him up after not seeing her all night but instead she picks up brother and leaves the room. Saddest. Baby. Ever. So I'm just extremely slow and careful.) Before we went down the stairs, one boy would grab my phone and the other would grab the water bottle and they'd play with their respective "toys" during diaper changes.

I let one of them have my phone while we were at Sears last week looking at treadmills. We didn't get one as the result of an annoying exchange that went something like:

D: You want a treadmill, let's go look.

me: Here is the cheapest treadmill.

D: Too expensive.

me: I really want one.

D: Ok.

me: But you said we can't get one.

D: But you want one.

me: Not if we can't afford it.

D: You said you wanted one.

me: You said it's too expensive.

D: It is.

And so on. Color me frustrated.

We got back into the car after buying some new pans and curtains that we may or may not be able to afford, I think, I don't know. I went to check my message from Jenski that I had received as we were getting boys out of the car and into the stroller, but a curious black screen popped up and would not go away. It said USB Download Mode. BootBlock, or something like that, and it would not go away. We tried plugging it into stuff, taking the battery out, etc., and nothing worked. We have been meaning to get new phones anyway, so it wasn't a terribly big loss.

We talked about what new phones to get, and thankfully quickly agreed not to get smartphones. You didn't see this turning into a soapbox post did you? Bazinga!

I confess that if money were no object, I'd probably get a smartphone. It's a fun toy for grownups. But I think that smartphones are way too easy to abuse, and I would be an abuser! Hear me out.

The last thing I need in my life (aside from more jelly beans) is another screen to get sucked into. I spend much of my day with my laptop open, spying on people on Facebook, checking my email, and looking at websites of things that I actual want to do in real life but am not doing because am wasting time staring at computer (also known as cruising Pinterest). I read on my nook, which also lets me access the Internet, and I have an iPod touch that functions like a smartphone, except it needs WiFi and doesn't call people. Then there's my phone, and I usually text a bit during the day. I do take so-so care of my house, make two or three meals a day, change diapers, and always play on the floor with the babies, but when they're having Brother Time or sleeping, I usually find myself in front of a screen. Take right now, for instance! (Nap time.)

So the last thing I want is a screen that takes me even further from the actual people in my life. It's sad when I'm with friends, family, or coworkers and they are staring into a little screen the entire time. And I get that it sucks you in and I'd be the same way, but we all know that it's rude. And if you didn't know that it's rude, I am telling you right now - it's fine to take a peek at your phone, and it's ok to scroll Facebook quickly if there's something exciting going on, like your friend's having a baby that day, or something like that. But in general, when you spending time with people you care about, look at them and talk to them. If there's nothing urgent happening, don't talk to others on the phone, don't text excessively, and FFS, don't play games or cruise Facebook when you're with actual people! This sends the message that they are not important enough to receive your attention, and it doesn't allow our kids to develop necessary social skills. At least, I hope that social skills will be necessary in the future...

Speaking of the future, sometimes I think about how harmful it could be to rely too much on GPS. I don't have GPS, and again, I'd use it if I had it, but I like the journey. I love maps. I just loooove maps. I love to unfold them and find places I know and places I've heard of and see where this is compared to that and make up routes. I get lost in Google Earth finding every place I've heard of and wondered about. And I know not everyone shares my love of maps, and that's ok

Ok, rant over. Again, I love you whether or not you have a smartphone, but I think that they shouldn't replace your brain. I love your brain.

We ended up getting LG Extraverts, which are sleek and slippery with touch screens. I haven't learned all the tricks and features yet, because I've been playing with my babies. With my new phone safely watching from a safe distance. Smart.

Party Time! Excellent!

Well, the boys are one year and two days now, and more or less recovered from their big first birthday. We celebrated for a week, starting with dinner and cake with our beloved Uncle Virgil and family. This was a celebration not just for Dean and Cam, but also for big cousin Garrett, who is 2! 

Then on Saturday, we decorated and set up for a small family party. I mean, SMALL. Just immediate family. We would have invited all of you if this month wasn't so hard, but our financial situation is perpetually uncertain, which made March a very stressful month. I couldn't do a big party, and Dave could hardly do a small party. But we made a big deal out of our small party, because babies only get one first birthday. 

The picture of the cake and cupcakes doesn't do it justice. It was the cutest thing I have ever created. Well, aside from these:

Thank you Grandma for the little chairs!!! They love them. Cam was his usual hammy self at the party, but Dean was a stinker. 

I didn't want to give them animal cupcakes because I was afraid that they would choke on the marshmallows or react to the coconut, and we'd have to pick off the candy pieces, so I made special Dean and Cam cupcakes. 

My cake shots are definitely not as cute as the ones that Julie took! 

The boys waved goodbye to Great-Grandma, Grandma and Grandpa, Papa and Yaya, and Aunties and cousins.

Then we all collapsed.

After a nap, it was time to play with some of our new toys!

A big thank you thank you to those who wished us a very happy first birthday. Your wish was granted - we had a blast! 

A Love Letter

This started off as an "I should do this every year because that is such a great mom thing to do" thing, but it ended up being The Time That I Cried About How Big They Are On Their Birthday.  I thought I would be able to not cry, but who am I kidding? Better now (just after midnight) than at their party, I suppose!  

Dear Dean and Camden,

I can't believe that you are a year old! Although I love you more and more every day and can't imagine having two newborns again, I'm sad that the time has passed so quickly. This seems like a few weeks ago:

6 months old

So how can this be an entire year ago?

So much has changed. You have tripled in size and taken over the house. Everyone who has ever met you has been enchanted by you. Your puppy adores you and we are so happy that the feeling is mutual! You have started to gently pet her and even throw your chubby arms around her and it melts our hearts. You talk to each other more than anybody else and seem to constantly amuse and entertain each other. You do everything and go everywhere together, and you always get into the same mischief at the same time. Nobody loves you more than Mommy and Daddy. If anyone ever tells you differently, he or she is a big liar. We don't know who we were or how we lived without you guys. And we don't know how on God's beautiful green Earth we ever thought we were so busy. We didn't know anything about busy!

This first year couldn't have been as rich and rewarding without many helpers. Your grandparents and great-grandma gave us love and support and often took care of you so that we might spend time together remembering how we came together to be your Mommy and Daddy. You have other kind and thoughtful babysitters, like your cousin Billie, your cousin Kristine, or wonderful Mandy and her big-girl twins. I never would have gotten through this year without my friends who are also mothers and fathers and know that doing a good job doesn't always look like other people think it should. I have friends who I have never even met yet who have been there to listen and to understand, because they have twins too or they parent like I do. Our lactation consultant is an angel here on Earth and you have the nicest pediatrician. You have helped me to make new friends and connect with old ones while cleverly letting me think that I'm the one finding friends for you!

There have been so many surprises along the way, and that has been so much fun. We delighted to see ourselves and our loved ones in your little faces. We were touched by the way you seemed to be best friends right away. And we never, ever, ever imagined we would show up on a movie set! I am thrilled that we still enjoy breastfeeding a few times each day and that you are growing up so healthy and strong. We continue to be amazed when you master something new and declare every little discovery as proof that you are the most brilliant human beings that have ever toddled the face of this earth. But for all the surprises, I find if completely predictable that I am sitting here doing an ugly cry blogging about the magic of your first year.

We are so proud of you, our sweet, sweet boys. You have taught us so much more than we have taught you. We are better people because of the privilege of being your parents. How can we ever thank you?

In the meantime, a million hugs and kisses will have to do. And cupcakes. There will be cupcakes.

We love you forever and always,

Mommy (and Daddy)

Cake SMASH!

Today we had the great pleasure of visiting our friend Julie and her adorable family (minus the big girl who was at school). We did a "cake smash" session in honor of the boys' first birthday on Saturday. Here are some of my favorites!